The last 15 days have been eye opening, sometimes a little frustrating and very, very challenging. But miraculously I did get through them.
I did not need a diet. I was not over weight, I exercised and meditated, and I made sure that my dinner plate had at least 5 different colors. White is a color (rice), and yeah beige is too (my chicken). I ate whole meal bread, I even made myself a green juice every once in a while, and I had not touched red meat in years. I truly felt that most of the things I ate were healthy and so was the way my whole family ate.
What I never thought of was, the amount of food that was not so good that we were consuming also: So what if I added just one spoon of white sugar to my tea? I did have that healthy salad for lunch; or one tiny bar of chocolate…a chocolate chip cookie (maybe 2) to go with my 5 o’clock tea…
Oh and the heartburn? They said it was normal sometimes? Is it? Why was it that I felt so heavy and bloated every time I ate lunch? Everyone complained of the same thing, so it had to be normal…?
Not to mention my low energy, actually close to zero energy! Every single morning, even with 8 hours of sleep, I was waking up tired, grumpy and drained.
I read up on different kinds of diets: how to energize your body. What to eat, what not to eat. One person says one thing, the other says something else. What works for someone might not work for you they say. Canola is good; canola is bad… soy is great, now it’s not! I was so confused so I just decided to think for myself and do the best I could.
When I came across Dana’s program I felt that this was a sign to jump start me and help me figure out why I was not feeling so well. I was ready for the challenge. OK. To be honest, I was just glad that someone would tell me exactly what to do, and I could complain and complain and they would have to listen.
Dana’s program said CLEANSE, and I said YES I CAN. She sent in all the to-do lists, what to buy, how to prepare and I knew it would all work out great !!! Schedules, recipes, inspiring words and I was full of enthusiasm. All I had to do was to get everything I needed (she even had names of places for us to shop). I would go shopping in the morning and have it all prepared. From pre-cleanse to cleanse, every single list imaginable was there.
Of course, there was an “avoid” list, and that is when I had to sit down and read it a couple of times to believe it. I was a little upset when I realized that the avoid list had chocolate on it, but I understood… Then came no dairy and the worst of all…no bread. I really looked through the list a couple of times thinking she just meant white bread. I knew that if it were whole wheat everything would be ok, but no. It clearly stated NO bread.
I eat bread. I love bread. And the program contained no grains. Nothing…
I really thought I could talk Dana into giving in a little, told her I would give up my chocolate, my sugar, anything, just not my bread… I needed my cheese and bread in the morning, and that’s when she reminded me that it included no dairy.
It was then that I realized that I would start my pre-cleanse, and I would fail. There was no way. I would be hungry and miserable all the time.
The first day of pre-cleanse I woke up to the PING of my email that I had received from my health coach (I really have no clue how she timed it every single day), reminding me how great I was to take this step, how I should be proud of my decision, and how I am about to venture in a world full of health and goodness inside and out. I read it and actually groaned out loud. I was just not ready for this, but I also knew that I had to give it a try.
So that is what I did. I said I would try, and if it didn’t work out I would have at least given it a shot.
So I got out of bed, made my lemon elixir, my green juice followed but so did my coffee. I was still not ready to give up my coffee just yet. By the time I was done drinking away all these liquids I was not hungry anymore, but feeling a little sick actually.
Feeling ready and inspired I headed to the supermarket and bought everything I needed for the week (little did I know that they would only last 2 days). When I got home I got down to washing, drying, cutting and packaging. I could not believe how much fruit and vegetables I had chopped up in a little over 2 hours! YES 2 hours.
Coconut milk smoothie was divine; I never thought I would love one as much as I do now. The rest of my first day went fine but I still complained anyway. I had followed the day’s schedule, I had plenty to eat and drink, and I was not hungry. But I felt …empty. It actually took me a few days to realize why I was feeling so empty. Years and years of having this sensation of heaviness in my stomach, it just felt weird that I did not feel that way any more. I now realize how ridiculous this was.
Days went by from pre-cleanse to cleanse and I was really proud of every meal I prepared and every craving I neglected. I really thought coffee would be my toughest craving but I was in for a surprise!
Everyday, for as long as I remember at 5 o clock pm, I would have a cup of tea … with milk, sugar, and chocolate or cookie. I really never thought much of it. I knew I loved it, and I never felt bad for having this every single day. I felt like since I had my salad, my veggies and my fruits, I deserved this one thing… everyday.
For the first few days of the program, and at exactly 5 o’clock I would get a migraine that would leave me paralyzed for the rest of the day. I discussed the issue with Dana, and she said that it was just my body getting rid of the toxins. I said…what toxins?… it’s a COOKIE.
Funny enough, a few days later I was not getting a migraine, instead I was becoming very irritable, like I needed something… it was like it was time for my daily drug, I felt like I needed to sign up for TCA (tea and cookies anonymous). In fact as I write this down, I’m getting the same sensation… ooohhh the tricks that the mind does play!!
Long story short… I wanted my chocolate. I needed my chocolate. Whether it was my mind playing tricks or my body reacting to missing its daily dose of a sugar rush, it was an incredible eye opener for me.
Yes, everything you eat will eventually affect you, and yes food does add up. It’s not that one bar of chocolate. It’s that bar of chocolate every single day for a long time that will affect you.
I will say this again, I never did this to lose weight, and I am sure that one cookie a day will not affect my weight tremendously (well maybe a little) but it is incredible to see how we affect our bodies and our needs without even noticing.
The program has also made me realize that I most probably am gluten intolerant, I still love my bread, but now I will get my gluten-free bread. I now know that I will never touch rice and pasta ever again, well, never say never, but right now I am in love with my quinoa…I do not need anything else.
As our health coach puts it in words, and she has been very encouraging, understanding and especially realistic, it’s not about the chocolate bar every now and then, it’s not about the slice of pizza (yes Dana I still love my pizza), it’s about what you get your body used to eating. It’s about having energy, it’s about feeling good when you eat, not bloated or heavy, or suffering heartburn. These sensations you should not put up with. And it’s about not feeling guilty with every single bite you take…
I will quote Dana here “Look at your own life and say, “80% of the time I am going to eat clean, whole, unprocessed foods that give me endless energy, and 20% of the time, I am going to allow myself some wiggle room.”
So I have decided to be realistic. Our days are never 100%, sometimes they are good and some are just not so, and that’s how my food will be: most of my food will be good. I’m starting with the 80/20 just because I want to be realistic. I will push out all the bad food that my body is used to and I will bring in the good.
I am happy to say that I wake up every morning BEFORE my alarm clock goes off, and I am not upset. I am proud to say, that since I have started my cleanse…I have never seen my family eat so much fruit and vegetables in my life (we were always good about that, but nothing like now). I am proud to say that my kids have not touched their sugar-filled cereals for 2 weeks, and they wake up asking for their banana smoothie instead 🙂
After lunch, it’s a big plate of fruit salad, and then more fruits before they sleep.
I am proud to say that I have had half a coke on the weekend and got sick to my stomach 🙂 and I am proud to say that I still crave that little piece of chocolate and my tea everyday at 5. So, I will use that as my 20%.
Thank you Dana for being an inspiration, a great source of support and encouragement and thank you for listening to me complain for most of the cleanse process.
Lots of love,
Alia Hammad