by Dr. Wendy Manchester Ibrahim
No one can deny it. The responsibility of being a mom is a demanding and difficult job. It’s a 24/7 responsibility that begins at conception and continues indefinitely. And unlike a paid job in the workplace, you don’t have the benefits of built-in support and guidelines. In most jobs, you have fixed working hours, coffee breaks, get guidance from managers and colleagues, and when things get tough, you can hold a quick meeting to brainstorm solutions for difficult issues. Also, when you get sick, you can call and take the day off! But your job as a mom doesn’t have these options, and that’s why you need to learn how to mother the mother in you. To be successful and satisfied in the most important role of your life, follow these tips.
Our jobs as nurturers and nourishers
Our physiology has us play an essential role in the miracle of creation. We can grow a human being to term from a single cell. When pregnant, our body develops into a completely different shape and size and then returns (more or less) to its former state. Our uterus provides all the nutrients and environmental conditions necessary for a baby to grow before it comes into this world. And once on the outside, our breast milk provides all the nutrients necessary to nourish the baby exclusively until it begins to eat external food. As our children keep growing, our role as nurturers continues.
You cannot give what you do not have
All of this loving, caring and giving takes a tremendous amount of energy. Yet, somehow, most of us try to give and give without ever giving to ourselves. Perhaps you believe it’s selfish or indulgent to think of yourself. But think again: you cannot give what you do not have! If you approach your 24 hour a day, 7 day a week job without ever replenishing your energy and nurturing yourself, you are destined to feel exhausted, resentful, and burnt out. Taking time to take care of you is a critical step in the process of building a healthy, happy, and successful family.
It’s all about attitude
One of our most frequent complaints about our children and our spouses is their attitudes. Marla Ciley, author of Sink Reflections and a mentor to thousands of women writes, “I believe that if you bless your family with taking care of yourself and your home you will see a difference in their attitude as well.” Marla is the creator of FLY Lady System, a system designed to help women take care of themselves, their families, and their homes more efficiently and with a more positive attitude. The F-L-Y in FLY Lady stands for “Finally Loving Yourself.” It is an essential first step in building a happier home. Like it or not, your tone as a mother sets the tone for the entire family. If you are feeling miserable, it will reflect on everything else in your home. And if you are feeling satisfied, energized, and fulfilled, your family will notice and follow.
Choosing to be successful
Dr. Barrie Greiff, Harvard psychiatrist and author of A Life Worth Living, discusses the benefits of taking advantage of the “Five L’s of Success.” By engaging in these forms of behavior, you are making a choice to live life and parent more positively. Doing so will ultimately have positive effects on your overall health and well-being. By reframing your experiences, finding challenge and joy in your daily life, you have the opportunity to change your perception and develop better coping skills.
The “Five L’s of Success”
• LEARN – be open every day to the lessons that new experiences have to offer. This is a habit we want to instill in our children so modeling it will be the best way to teach them.
• LABOR – find a job that has meaning to you and gives you satisfaction. Parenting is one of your jobs. Find and focus on the areas that give you satisfaction
• LOVE – recognize the love in your life. Give love generously and accept it gratefully. Love is the emotional energy that keeps your family together. Nurture it.
• LAUGH – find humor throughout your day, laugh with yourself and in good company. Laughing, and encouraging others to laugh with you, is a fun and playful longevity strategy, helping build better immunity to disease.
• LET GO – recognize that which is beyond our control and handle yourself with grace.
Read this article in full here http://mother-and-child.net/article/mothering-the-mother-in-you/